I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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