the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize