You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize