Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
