I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sext me about skeletons
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
