I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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