The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Panties = found
Randomize