We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
