Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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