I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
