You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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