If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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