in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
