We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If I die, sorry about rent.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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