Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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