I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Say something about gay babies.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
