I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize