I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
