There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it because I queefed?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
