Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
