So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
