I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Houston, we have a squirter
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
