I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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