he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
