she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
