Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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