U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
