I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
