I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
