Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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