You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
