4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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