The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
