I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
