That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
