My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
