we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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