I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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