If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
