I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
