and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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