I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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