if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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