So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
