I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize