I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
