When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
