4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
