i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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