I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
