check it out our google latitudes are spooning
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
