I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
