Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
