I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
