We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
