Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
