I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am spending my child support on dildos
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
