i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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