foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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