What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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