who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
