is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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