i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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