It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
