I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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