no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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