I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
