he shaved USA in his pubs
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
