They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
