I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize