He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
