I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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