So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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