All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
