Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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(516): View more from New York

Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.

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(419): View more from Ohio

then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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(919): View more from North Carolina

All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

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(573): View more from Missouri

He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.

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(323): View more from California

Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips

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