just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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