Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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