Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
