wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
