ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
